I was never going to homeschool my girls. It just wasn’t for me. My older siblings all homeschooled their children, and my husband and I firmly agreed that wasn’t for our family. I’m that mom that cheered when her kids got on the school bus. The infant and toddler years just about did me in. Tired. Worn out. Defeated.
So when that big yellow school bus pulled up, I was more than happy for the break. I soaked in the increasing quiet and decreasing questions, and as each year went by, another child hopped on the bus too. Coffee dates. Quiet time. Working in peace. I was living the dream.
This strange, quiet voice started whispering in my head, “Bring them home.”
What?! Bring them home? I’m finally able to breathe. Why on earth would I bring them home?
Yet over and over, I kept hearing, “Bring them home.”
The whisper turned into a louder voice. Two years went by as I heard this every day playing through my head and I just kept telling that voice NO.
You see, I couldn’t bring them home because we had already decided it wasn’t for us. I knew that not only was I completely not capable of teaching my children, there was also no way we could all be home together all day every day and survive.
A person can justify just about anything when they are listening to the world around them.
One day, during my quiet time on the couch, snuggled up with my pups and hot coffee, all by myself as the girls were in school, I clearly heard this voice say again, “Bring them home.” This time, the voice was different. It was my voice. In my head. But it was said in that tone I use on the girls when I mean business, and they know I’m saying it that way because it’s for their benefit. It was a firm, not-messing-around kind of tone that stopped me in my tracks. I looked up to the heavens and said, “Ok God, I’m willing.”
As soon as those words were out of my mouth, a sense of peace immediately took over my body. Those two years of ignoring that voice had taken a toll on my health, both physically and mentally.
I had no idea what I was getting into. But it didn’t matter. Because I was finally leading our family to the place we were being called to go. God must have been whispering in my husband’s ear at the same time, because we just both knew it was the right thing to do.
The day I stopped listening to the lies I was believing, and tuned in completely to what God was telling me, is the day that blessings began to rain down on our family.
Let’s take a closer look at the lies I was believing.
- Homeschooling wasn’t for our family.
- I was not capable of teaching my children.
- We couldn’t survive being together every day.
Where did those thoughts come from? When did I start believing those lies?
Deciding that homeschooling wasn’t for us and believing that we couldn’t survive being together all day stemmed from really struggling as a young mama to enjoy my babies and toddlers. Years of undiagnosed and untreated postpartum depression left me in a very dark place. Believing that I wasn’t capable of teaching my own children came from struggling through school myself, and really not being very interested in learning all through school. I was there for the social aspect, and only learned what I had to.
How did I break those lies?
Getting in the word of God and asking what HIS truth was.
Here’s what He has been showing me.
- When He calls you to something, He WILL equip you. You simply need to be willing.
Matthew 28:19-20 | Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
That was a pretty impossible task for God to dish out to His followers if you really think about it. Getting our own kids to obey is overwhelming enough, so imagine being given the task of going into all the world and teaching them to obey. Yikes!
Acts 1:8 | But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.
He didn’t leave the disciples hanging. He equipped them with the Holy Spirit to accomplish what He was calling them to do. The Holy Spirit gave them the boldness and wisdom to answer His call.
These past two years of homeschooling, my girls have seen me find a renewed passion for learning. Here’s the crazy thing I’ve come to realize: my girls’ will learn regardless of what I know, because we’re created to learn. So we’ve been learning so much together. They’ve watched me become extremely resourceful and rise up to this calling. Reaching out to other homeschooling mamas, searching for curriculum and switching it up when it’s not working, and hiring tutors. This was a whole new world to me, a whole new mindset, yet God continues to provide the right people and the right resources exactly when we need them.
- God wants to bless us beyond what we could ever imagine.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
When I was believing the lie that we could never survive being home together all day, I was allowing blessings to be stolen from our family.
Not only is our family surviving our days at home together, we are thriving being together. Bringing the girls’ home has allowed me to witness blessings upon blessings, for them individually and for our entire family.
Is homeschooling for everyone? Certainly not. It is for us because God called us to it.
What is God calling you to right now? Have you been hearing a voice in your head leading you in a direction you don’t want to go? What do you do with that?
Here are some simple tips that can help you really hear that voice and calling:
- Quiet your mind. Silence the voices of the world and those around you, so you can solely focus on what that calling really is. Take a break from social media. Turn off the TV. Give space between yourself and others who distract you with negativity. Cancel plans and say no to activities to leave space in your calendar so you actually have the time to think.
- “Is that true?” That’s the question you need to ask yourself over and over again as thoughts run through your head. For example, when you’re feeling down, and telling yourself how horrible of a person you are, ask yourself “is that really true?” God didn’t create horrible people. We just make horrible decisions sometimes.
- Get in the Word of God and seek His truth. It will become more and more clear as you read His word. His voice will become louder as the voices of the world get quieter.
- Journal. Write down what you’re hearing and all the thoughts that come with it. As you read back over the words you’ve written over the past days, months, and years, God will use your own words to truly open your eyes.
Never say never. All you have to do is be willing. He’ll do the rest.