I sat down to write a blog and realized I had nothing to say.
It felt odd.
Typically, I would be bursting with ideas and my dilemma would be which one to choose. Once I commit, the words flow easily.
But today felt … different. Oh sure, I could conjure up something or other to entertain you. Drum up a spiritual lesson learned in a previous season of life. Tell you about some current drama and what God is teaching me in the midst of it. All valid possibilities.
But not today.
I stopped to process it with the Lord and realized I felt a unique and stirring emotion. One that I struggled to identify for just a moment.
I mean, truthfully, as Christians, we say that it is not only possible, but also probable, to live a life of peace if you are walking with the Lord. But also truthfully, as Christians, I’m not convinced we walk in much peace at all.
Especially in 2020.
If COVID didn’t steal your peace, then I’m confident the election did. I do not remember a year where I felt so much inner angst and didn’t even know what to do with it. Social media only fed the inner angst, and sometimes conversations with others piled on irritation and anger in addition to the unrest. Yeah, peace was a battle this year. For you, too, I suppose.
And so I pondered why I would be feeling such peace today. In the natural, it makes zero sense.
Our fridge leaked, causing some major issues, so currently my kitchen floor is torn up, as is the bedroom ceiling below it. The house is a mess as I wait for the renovations to take place. Takes me right back to when we renovated this whole house a few years ago, and I’ve gotta tell you, I’ve got some major PTSD.
Our daughter continues to struggle with health issues. The symptoms ebb and flow with new ones popping up occasionally. Some days I am full of faith for her healing and other days, like yesterday, I am distraught over all she has endured. I’m not sure how much more she can endure.
I’m really tired. My to-do list is endless. Have barely begun to think about Christmas. Am concerned about numerous people dealing with numerous things. My inbox is overflowing. And my phone has pinged approximately 527 times while I’ve been typing this blog.
So if my life is far from perfection, why do I feel at peace today?
And then I remember Philippians 4:7. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
That’s what I’m experiencing, right now, this very second! A peace that makes no sense to a mind that’s prone to rationalize it away, and a heart that’s constantly playing tug-of-war between hope and despair. Yes, no wonder I can’t explain it. The Bible tells me it is beyond my human capability to even wrap my mind around it. It defies logic and description. It is supernatural.
And so, I think to myself, I will not squander this gift. I will not wait for disaster to strike, or peer into the future with fear and dread. For today, I will relish the preciousness of what I’ve been given and do my best to share it with others, as gifts are always meant to be shared.
This peace is light and free, because it is not based on anything I can see or know or understand. It just is. Thank you, Jesus. And should tomorrow look different from today, I’ll remind myself of this moment in time and be thankful.